sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
