She is in my trunk
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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