Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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