I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
