I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
