They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize