i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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