Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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