New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
