i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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