i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
