Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
