I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
