Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
