and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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