Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
