You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
