Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
