This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
