The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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