she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize