I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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