that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize