You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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