ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
