so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
babies were throwing up all over the place
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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