It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
