He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
