You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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