At least make sure they are 18
Why
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
