I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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