At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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