I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
