please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
