The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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