I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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