so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
