TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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