What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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