If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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