someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
