giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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