We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
