the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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