that's an acceptable place to lick
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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