That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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