how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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