i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
