I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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