it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
