Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
