He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
