I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize