You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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