There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize