I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize