No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
