I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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